Film-Buff-Poseur

[PoliFanAthic]

Ahhh...o chestie oarecum interesanta, cel putin prin faptul ca enumera filme "existentiale", si nu doar pentru un asa zis "FBP". De pe Amazon...

With the invention of the Internet (thanks, Al Gore!), international communication is at an all-time high. Amidst this free-wheeling discourse, there is much talk about film: the cinema, motion pictures, flicks, pics, good ol' movies. Perhaps you have found yourself at various critical websites, like FilmHead.com, or discussion groups on Yahoo, or even that venerable newsgroup rec.arts.movies. Have you been afraid to express your opinions, or even intimidated by others' apparent knowledge? Well, fear no longer. Most of these film buffs out there are mere poseurs, and now you can be one of them. What I will present you is a list of items that you can buy (or rent) so that you can share your half-baked notions in no time.
First, to be a contemporary Film-Buff Poseur (FBP), you have to own a DVD player. You may be reluctant to buy into this technology because of your rational fear that it will become obsolete. Well, the first thing you need to learn is to shed your rationality and just buy one. The top-selling DVD player on Amazon is the 'Norcent DP300 DVD Player (Silver)' because it has all the features you need and it's pretty cheap. Trust me, you'll be spending more than that in DVDs soon.

You have the tool, now let's use it...

With your rationality buried, you must now free yourself of shame. It's not your fault that you haven't seen 'Citizen Kane (Two-Disc Special Edition)'. You've only had your whole life to see The Greatest Film Ever Made. It's not like they show it on Comedy Central between reruns of Saturday Night Live. Now you'll own it -- only lightweights rent it.

You'll probably notice that it comes with two discs. Well, all important DVDs have been shipped with an extra disc of "Special Features" since 'Fight Club'. It is very important that you watch all these documentaries, featurettes, and production-note slides so that you can have all the behind-the-scenes chestnuts that FBPs regularly spit out.

Now that you've seen and learned all about The Greatest Film Ever Made, you can start throwing around terms like "deep focus", "carte blanche", and "final cut".

But the most important term you must add to your arsenal is "auteur". It's another French word, and you'll soon have to use a lot of French just to express your most basic thoughts. This is because, as an FBP, you must worship Francois Truffaut. You probably know him as the French scientist guy in 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)', but he was also one of the most important film critics and directors of the 20th Century. He formulated the Auteur Theory as a critic, along with his French colleagues, based on the fact that the best directors are the real authors of their films and that even a bad film by a good director has some worth. This is based on people like "Kane" director Orson Welles, Alfred Hitchcock ('Vertigo - Collector's Edition'), and Jean Renoir ('Grand Illusion - Criterion Collection'). Then Truffaut put his money where his mouth was and made 'The 400 Blows'. As an FBP, this is the only French film you need to see.

Then there's Federico Fellini's '8 1/2 - Criterion Collection'. This is the only other European film you need to see, as all the other languages are spoken in it, and it encompasses all that self-conscious surrealism that's in all those great European films of the Mid-20th Century. You won't need to worry about any European films made after 1968, but you will need to dabble in...

The Asian Cinema

As far as any FBP is concerned, there are only two directors in the history of Asian Cinema. The first is the dead Japanese one: Akira Kurosawa. There are only two Kurosawa films that you need to see. The first is 'Rashomon - Criterion Collection'. It's one of the first films that shows the same event from different biased perspectives, which has become quite common. Now when you see a film like 'Courage Under Fire', you can say, "That was so Rashomon". After that, you only need to see Kurosawa's 'Seven Samurai - Criterion Collection', which is long enough to make up for not seeing any more of his films. You'll now be fully qualified to say that all Western directors steal from him, specifically George Lucas.

The other Asian director you need to worry about is the living Chinese one: John Woo. You've probably seen some of his American films, like 'Face/Off' and 'Mission Impossible 2', but soon you'll be able to scoff at them, saying they're over-budgeted and lack the soul of his Hong Kong films. This stance will be based entirely on seeing one film: 'Hard Boiled - Criterion Collection'.

Now that you're all caught up with the international scene and The Greatest Film Ever Made, you're ready to explore the most important area of FBP expertise:

Contemporary American Film

It is important to recognize the holy trinity of Martin Scorsese films: 'Taxi Driver - Collector's Edition', 'Raging Bull', and 'Goodfellas'. You must insist that Scorsese is The Greatest Living Director, now that Stanley Kubrick ('2001 - A Space Odyssey') is dead. To back this up, you need to mention Scorsese's first important film, 'Mean Streets', but it's not important to actually see it.

You must lament the fact that Francis Ford Coppola stopped making great films after 'Apocalypse Now', that there were no good American films made in the 1980s (despite the fact that it's the era from which you've seen the most films), and you must take a stance on Steven Spielberg.

Yes, Spielberg, the most successful director of our time. Privately, of course, you love all of his films, but you have to decide what you say in public -- either that he's the Bard of our time, giving us sensitive portrayals of humanity ('Schindler's List (Widescreen Edition)'), or that he's single-handedly destroying Western culture ('Hook'). A true FBP cannot have an opinion that is not extreme. Other FBPs will doubt you if you appear balanced.

And now, we must look toward the future...

Hangin' at the Art House

If you have gone to the mall to see a film since the release of 'Pulp Fiction - Miramax Collector's Edition', you cannot let anybody know. The only films you see now must be exclusively screened in art houses with bad sound systems and an espresso bar. One of your best friends should be a projectionist at one of these art houses, and then you must boast that you no longer pay to see films.

You will now tout the work of Todd Solondz ('Storytelling') and Darren Aronofsky ('Requiem for a Dream - Director's Cut') as some of the few people who make interesting films now. You will insist on only seeing their films in the form of unrated Director's Cuts and complain about the MPAA's unfair double standard when it comes to art films. You will no longer see anything produced by a major studio unless Philip Seymour Hoffman is in the cast ('Almost Famous').

Now you are ready to unleash your new-found status on the world. Start your own website. Post snarky comments on discussion groups. Invade chatrooms and dominate the conversation with your own pontification. Drive by your local Blockbuster and sneer at the unwashed masses inside while you're on the way to your local independent video store. In fact, you should submit an application to that video store. Maybe, one day, you could be the next Quentin Tarantino.

[Amyd]

Hehe, foarte misto, dar au uitat faptul ca e obligatoriu sa stii si cine a fost Eisenstein sau Tarkovsky. Preferabil amandoi. Americanii astia... 8)

Film Buff Poseur Extraordinaire,
Andrei

[Ambra Blu]

Hehe, foarte misto, dar au uitat faptul ca e obligatoriu sa stii si cine a fost Eisenstein sau Tarkovsky. Preferabil amandoi. Americanii astia... 8)

Film Buff Poseur Extraordinaire,
Andrei

Sigur ca da, d/aia n/au mai putut sa faca Frank Cardon, Adawna, si La Traun Parker documentarul "Teen Dreams". Sint sigur ca erau plini de Eisenstein. Adawna in special, era plina pina in git.

This Yossarian...

[Amyd]

Daca nu stia Villegas atunci de Eisenstein, a aflat intre timp de la Eugene Martin, la o sueta intre doua edit-uri de documentare despre country music si NY bikers.

Dar aici vorbeam despre FBPs, nu despre FMIs.

Film-Maker Impresonator sunt o cu totul alta specie, desi cateodata evolueaza dintr-un sambure de FBP. Dar ei deja nu mai trebuie sa stie nimic despre film, eventual se obosesc sa pretinda ca au castigat vreun festival de care nu a auzit nimeni sau ca au un proiect foarte underground in productie care va revolutiona cel putin cinematografia locala, daca nu cea mondiala. Si, rareori, chiar o fac.

Salutari,
Andrei

[Ambra Blu]

And the problem being?

Mie imi plac in special Film Blufferii care stiu totul despre film. Music score, shooting scripts, even catering.

[Amyd]

No problem whatsoever. E loc sub soare si pe Zanzibar pentru toti, momentan (pana prin 2010, parca).

Salutari,
Andrei

P.S.: Do they have other kinds of scores in movies? :roll:

[Ambra Blu]

No problem whatsoever. E loc sub soare si pe Zanzibar pentru toti, momentan (pana prin 2010, parca).

Salutari,
Andrei

P.S.: Do they have other kinds of scores except musical ones in movies? :roll:

Yes, like when Romeo tries to score and Juliet just say no, feel me?
Rust in peace, Brunner.

[Amyd]

Ah, but in that particular case, it's rather about having old scores getting in the way of romance. Still, in the way you used it, a score can only be, alas, a music one, sorry.

Salutari,
Andrei

[Ambra Blu]

Music Score
A compilation of musical compositions specifically written to accompany the action of a film. The music often helps to set the mood of a scene but it also reflects the emotion and character of an entire production. Music scores have been historically associated with this artistic genre since its inception. In the past, if theatres could afford an orchestra, they would perform in accompaniment to the action and the director's cue who often had to watch what was taking place on the screen as well as the music in front of her/him. In local towns, theatres often had a resident piano player who was responsible for performing the transcribed accompaniment. Now with stop watch in hand composers render music according to the dictates of the strict timing demanded by action sequences. Overtures or themes are the most original aspects as well as theme songs. As in the past, much of the music is canned and rearranged to fit the time frame/sequence.

Any scores left to settle?

Here it comes: "isolated music score: this refers to just the music score of a movie soundtrack, without any dialogue and without any sound effects (e.g., foley sound effects or otherwise)."


And the beat goes on.

[Amyd]

None, except some reasons from a score of dictionaries:

"
score
Pronunciation: 'skOr, 'skor
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural scores
Etymology: Middle English scor, from Old Norse skor notch, tally, twenty; akin to Old English scieran to cut

[...]
6
a : the copy of a musical composition in written or printed notation
b : a musical composition; specifically : the music for a movie or theatrical production
[..]
"

On and on and Ariston. Do you know the score now?

Salutari,
Andrei

[Ambra Blu]

None, except some reasons from a score of dictionaries:
Salutari,
Andrei

Man, that mean you drunk. You read one dictionary (say Webster), but you see double, or triple. Or how many times does one hafta count till he gets to 20?

The Average Joe Blow Me.

[Amyd]

The same is written in the other 19 I checked with slightly different formulations. 8)

But I thought I should spare the SQL database here the burden of 20 almost identical quotes from Oxford, AHD & so on.

Salutari,
Andrei

[Ambra Blu]

Probably the search you ran didn't cover www.bn.com, 'cuz here it comes: Music Score Composer
The person responsible for writing the music for a film. The film score of "Ghandi" for example, was composed by Ravi Shankar.

These Oscar people are really courageous in propelling forward a most outrageous statement: "Elmer Bernestein, Oscar Nominee...SUMMER AND SMOKE (1961) — Nominee, Music (Music Score of a Dramatic or Comedy Picture)
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN (1960) — Nominee, Music (Music Score of a Dramatic or Comedy Picture)
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN ARM (1955) — Nominee, Music (Music Score of a Dramatic or Comedy Picture) "

But whadda heck, what do they really know?

[Amyd]

Hehe, quoting from Barnes& Noble over Oxford&Webster? That's rather funny, if I may say so myself.

But even in that quote, you notice it says : "The film score of "Ghandi" for example..." and not "The film music score for example...". Amazing, isn't it? :lol:

The problem with deriving logical conclusions from premises known or assumed to be true is that alas, those premises are sometimes not true.


Salutari,
Andrei

[Ambra Blu]

The problem the act deriving logical conclusions from premises true is that alas, those premises are sometimes not true.


Salutari,
Andrei

Man, your logic is fuzzy, and twisted is your English.

[Amyd]

These Oscar people are really courageous in propelling forward a most outrageous statement: "Elmer Bernestein, Oscar Nominee...SUMMER AND SMOKE (1961) — Nominee, Music (Music Score of a Dramatic or Comedy Picture)
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN (1960) — Nominee, Music (Music Score of a Dramatic or Comedy Picture)
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN ARM (1955) — Nominee, Music (Music Score of a Dramatic or Comedy Picture) "

Heh, they must have realized the error of their ways, because alas nowadays the official site lists that category as:

"Achievement in music in connection with motion pictures (Original score)"

Not only that, but they also fought a valiant battle in the 50s and 60s with names and titles, until they reached in 1968 the correct form of: "MUSIC (Original Score--for a motion picture [not a musical])" and "MUSIC (Score of a Musical Picture--original or adaptation)".

Those bastards, huh? :lol:

Salutari,
Andrei

[Ambra Blu]

Soyez beni, music score, comme un divin remede a nos impuretes.

[Matt Heffernan]

I'm glad to see that my article was enjoyed around the world. I wish I could read Romanian; I seem to be at a distinct disadvantage as you all appear to be able to read English in addition to your native tongue. Luckily, Romanian is similar enough to French and Spanish that I could figure out how to register with this forum.

For those of you interested, I wrote a sequel to this article, as Amazon.com imposes a size limit to their "So You'd Like To..." guides.
Here's a link: https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/t...1606M4BFO5Y96/

And you can always read my reviews and other articles at http://www.filmhead.com

Matt Heffernan

[PoliFanAthic]

It's only going from good to better...