Bored Of The Rings

[Gaandalf]

Dupa mai multe luni de zile de scris, colaborari intense cu Lady Eowyn -am reushit sa facem putzin "mishto" de Lord Of The Rings. Multzi prieteni au ramas surprinshi la aflarea faptului ca mi-am calcat in picioare miracolul meu drag numit Lord Of The Rings cu toate personajele sale, dar eu m-am distrat de minune scriind aceste randuri.
Pe aceasta cale vrem sa-i multzumim shi Demonei pentru inspiratzie shi datorita faptului ca am folosit ceva din glumele shi materialele ei.

Anuntz Important: Aceasta relatare nu este 100% autentica. Asemanari shi "bucatzi" sunt asimilate.

Enjoy ...

[Gaandalf]

Bored Of The Rings

Book 1
Part 1 -

THE BEGINNING OF THE FILM
A Long time ago in ago in a galaxy far, far away …
(Galadriel starts to speak when suddenly the Star Wars theme music starts: tam tam tam … ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta tam tam tam - nah na na)

Galadriel: Iamar prestar aen naton ne nen, han mathon ne chae…
CREW MEMBER 1: Hey, what the f*** is up with this shit?
SOUND GUY: Whoops, wrong tape. (Matrix theme comes on)
CREW MEMBER 2: Nope, try again.

Narrator: And then u think it starts but … and now we see the Sound Guy looking confused and worried. It is the right music, but it sounds icky.

CREW MEMBER 2: It sounds horrible! Who the hell would wanna listen to this shit ?
Pee Jay: Just play something God Daaaaamn It! Anything!

Pee Jay: Put that shit on … You’re fucking up my movie?
Narrator: jajajajaja! You’re sooo gentle!

Galadriel: (voicing over black screen) Iamar prestar aen naton ne nen, han mathon ne chae a han noston ned wilith!

Galadriel: It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, the most wise, the best looking, and the coolest of all beings. (shot of three Elves, two male and one female, standing in cool, wise, and/or beautiful poses) Nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, not so wise, okay looking, and definitely not as cool as the Elves (three men and one girl this time, obviously not ready for the camera). In the land of Mor…
GIMLI: (rough voice over, interrupting) You forgot the dwarves LADYEEEEE!

GALADRIEL: (looking disgusted) Seven to the Dwarf lords, the least wise, worst looking, and least coolest. In the land of Mor-
BILBO: What about the Hobbits?

GALADRIEL: (growls) And then there were the Hobbits. A naive, not-so-smart, “who ate my donut?!” race of nasty footed people, Curly-Sue haired beings. In the land of Mordor the Dark Lord Morron uh … Sauron… whatever! … forged in secret a master Ring, to control all others. One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne, in the land of MORDOR – cool pad – you should check it out,especially during the winter, where the Shadows lie and the pigs fly. . . and people can dress really weird, gay weird. (Black and white stock shots of people fighting not knowing what for.) There were some who resisted the Dark Lord.

SAURON rushes out … who that on my door? Punk ass elves and men disrupting my lunch … Nobody is welcome in heeeere!
Sauron: Eaaah What the hell! Welcome to Mordor Airlines… the finest Airline company in Middle-Earth… you gonn’ fly (next shot… people flying with Sauron’s axe, Elves are way to cool so they they aiight’ in this part).

SAURON: Hah! “I believe you can fly… I believe you can touch the Sky – Spread your wings and fly away… ”
(ISILDUR pops up and grabs the broken Narsil … cuts off the ring…)
ISILDUR: Hah!

DORKS… I mean ORCS: Hah! He took it – God Damn it! – we are gonna get an ass woopin’ from Master Morron
Galadriel: No dark master, no war, he withdraws his ass into the woods and...Blah Blah blah… Then a shit load of years passed until we have another 60 more to wait to finally get to our story, present day… whatever!

to be continued ... soon, very soon

[Sm�agol-Gollum]

da.....super faina!!!! (*) (*) (*) (*) (*)
felicitarile mele lui gaandalf, lady eowen, demonei, shi celorlalti care au contribuit la realizarea acestei parodii!!
abia astept continuarea....
ps:faina faza cu porcul zburator!!
FELICITARI INCA O DATA!!!

[Demona]

Bored of the Rings... Ce o sa-tzi spun despre titlul asta o sa citeshti intr-un mail... In fine...oricum e doar parerea mea...

[LadyEowyin]

Bored of the Rings... Ce o sa-tzi spun despre titlul asta o sa citeshti intr-un mail... In fine...oricum e doar parerea mea...

i like it , honestly ...

[LadyEowyin]

60 YEARS LATER . . .
The Long (and I mean looong¡Kthey didn¡¦t use to do that back in my hippie days. We used tyo kick it all day, everyday.) The Long Expected Party
(Bilbo Baggins stands on a barrel at his birthday)

BILBO: Today is my eleventy-first birthday! But eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such admirable hobbits . . . whoah, aaaARRGGGH! He puts on the ring ¡V which by the way ¡K he found it in Gollum¡¦s Cave ¡K and disappears
The Crowd: eeeeah! Bring Out the ale ¡V let the parteee goin¡¦!

Gandalf: Bilbo ¡V get your ass to Rivendell and wait for us there ¡V I got this big thing coming up ¡K gotta get ur nephew to go on this 13 mounths quest to destroy that stupid ass ring of yours!
Bilbo: No it¡¦s my prescioussss, I won¡¦t give it up, it¡¦s mine, it came to me!
Gandalf: God Damn it Bilbo you want me to get pissed and start shaking down the house and get all dark in here!
Bilbo: Ok! On my way!

Gandalf wants to take the ring but as he draws close to it he has a mental frame of a GIANT ASS VAGINA!
Gandalf: No thank you! I am one of the Istari ¡K I am 7000 years old¡K or 3000 ¡V who cares¡K I have knowledge and power ¡V I seek not such pleasures¡K

NARRATOR: Dude! Stop it ¡V You¡¦re GAY!
Gandalf: Ok! None can contempt with the will of the Narrator!

Narrator: Gandalf! Go tell Frodo where he has to go cuz we waistin¡¦ people¡¦s energy, time and nerves!
Gandalf to Frodo: You heard the man! Ah! By the way you can take fatty there with you to keep you company! And by company my dear Frodo you understand whatever you want.
Frodo: I will take him! Yes Yes!
Gandalf Storm Bow: My dear Frodo! Hobbits really are amazing creatures! You can learn everything there is to know about them in a mounth and after 100 years they can still surprize you! My fair , beautiful skinned and handsome Frodo!

Narrator: Meanwhile back in Mordor (Mount Doom, Baradur and a lot of CGI special effects that you can¡¦t even keep track of) we find that someone is pissed off. Sauron is standing in the background, looking extremely distressed.

ORC 1: What's the matter with him?
ORC 2: He's still upset over losing that damn Ring.
ORC 1: What? Is this guy for real ?... that was how long ago? Over 3000 years? (pause and the 2 orcs rolling over their eyes) He sure looks tense. I bet if you mentioned the Ring he'd jump 50 feet in the air.
ORC 2: walks up to Sauron and says: Ring.
SAURON: AHHH! (shoots up)
ORC 1: Sorry, I was wrong. Only 48 feet!
ORC 2: Dude! You need to lighten up! That¡¦s pretty pathetic!

(Shot of Gollum being tickled by three dorks. He screams in agony. "Stop tickling me! Please! Shire! Baggins! Chocolate cake! Oh, that feels good!" The nine Nazgul rush out, dressed all in black to pretend they¡¦re pretty cool¡K
SoundGuy puts on the Men In Black Movie Theme Song: ¡§Here come the men in black¡K¡¨
Galadriel: Nobody in this story is cooler than the elves!

Narrator: Bitch wait your turn!
Narrator: Due to some of the malfunctions the characters of Merry and Pippin¡¦ have been introduced directly into the story! ¡§You know to cut the story short¡¨ we think they¡¦re rather pathetic characters but that old dude Tolkien wrote em¡¦ and we can¡¦t shake ¡¥em off! ƒº
Narrator: all of a sudden we see Weird gay Al ¡K a.k.a Tom Bombadil.
Tom Bombadil: Helloooo Friends! Singing all the time..
Frodo: Got no time to waste around with you weirdo!
Narrator: Tom Bombadil disappears.


and we'll see you next week ...

[emanuel]

Bored of the Rings... Ce o sa-tzi spun despre titlul asta o sa citeshti intr-un mail... In fine...oricum e doar parerea mea...

i like it , honestly ...

Cred ca Demona se refera la faptul ca exista deja o parodie Bored of the Rings, carte iesita de mult timp in SUA, si deci ideea cu titlul nu e chiar atat de originala.
Deci? Cine s-a inspirat de unde? Sau e doar o coincidenta?...

In plus, cred ca ea ar fi trebuit postata in romana, la fel ca si parodia Matrix, cand a fost vremea ei...

[Gaandalf]

Cred ca Demona se refera la faptul ca exista deja o parodie Bored of the Rings, carte iesita de mult timp in SUA, si deci ideea cu titlul nu e chiar atat de originala.
Deci? Cine s-a inspirat de unde? Sau e doar o coincidenta?...

In plus, cred ca ea ar fi trebuit postata in romana, la fel ca si parodia Matrix, cand a fost vremea ei...

Pura coincidentza a fost alegerea titlului. Titlul initzial a fost "Da ritarn ov da ching tu da tu tauers" ... dar a picat - ar fi trebuit sa asimilez toate cele 6 cartzi shi toate cele 3 filme ... shi nu aveam timp.

Shtiu ca ar fi trebuit sa fie postata in romana dar chestia este ca a fost scrisa in engleza pentru ca glumele in limba engleaza sunt mult mai numeroase shi comicul de limbaj este prezent peste tot. Nu ash fi putut face aceeashi chestie cu limba romana, nici in 1000 de ani. Shi inca un motiv ar fi ca a fost scrisa in limba engleza nu pentru a fi postata pe forum ci pentru distractzia mea shi ca sa vad cat de departe pot sa merg cu tot universul asta LOTR ... Daca se cere sa nu mai postez - nici o problema...

[BeNnY]

Presupun ca vreti parere sincera nu?

Prima parte mi se pare pretty lame... Insa a doua parte e considerabil mai buna! Mi-a placut in special faza cu Nazgulii si Men in Black...

[Nightwane]

Generally i like it...needs some work here and there but it's good...

[Freaak]

Daca va credeti voi chiar asa de tari, de ce nu faceti si ceva original?

[BeNnY]

Daca va credeti voi chiar asa de tari, de ce nu faceti si ceva original?

Vorbeai cu noi sau cu Gandalf & Lady Eowyin?

Mie overall mi-a placut.

[Freaak]

Vorbeam cu Gaandalf si LadyEowyn. Si apropo BenNy, frumoasa semnatura ... imi place.

[Demona]

i like it , honestly ...

Bineintzeles ca itzi place, doar ai participat la ea...

Cred ca Demona se refera la faptul ca exista deja o parodie Bored of the Rings, carte iesita de mult timp in SUA, si deci ideea cu titlul nu e chiar atat de originala.
Deci? Cine s-a inspirat de unde? Sau e doar o coincidenta?...

In plus, cred ca ea ar fi trebuit postata in romana, la fel ca si parodia Matrix, cand a fost vremea ei...

Yep...asta e! Tzapa...Anyway, ashtept shi restul, deshi am citit-o deja...

[BeNnY]

Vorbeam cu Gaandalf si LadyEowyn. Si apropo BenNy, frumoasa semnatura ... imi place.

Semnatura e luata din Legile lui Murphy... Da' nu mai stiu a cui lege era... Sau regula sau maxima sau ce mai era pe acolo... Promit sa caut si sa pun si asta in semnatura ca sa fie completa

Si ON-TOPIC: Demona tu ai participat la asta? Sau tu ai facut una separata? Sau cum> :shock:

[Demona]

Si ON-TOPIC: Demona tu ai participat la asta? Sau tu ai facut una separata? Sau cum> :shock:

Nu am participat la ea. Gaandalf mi-a spus dupa ce a scris-o ca a folosit shi unele idei de ale mele(nu e faza ca ma supar sau ceva de genu`), eu facusem alta separat, dar am distrus-o! No matter anyway...

[Garu]

eu facusem alta separat, dar am distrus-o! No matter anyway...

DE CEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!

[BeNnY]

Nu am participat la ea. Gaandalf mi-a spus dupa ce a scris-o ca a folosit shi unele idei de ale mele(nu e faza ca ma supar sau ceva de genu`), eu facusem alta separat, dar am distrus-o! No matter anyway...

Ok

[Demona]

DE CEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!

Are vreo importantza de ce? Asha am avut eu chef!

[BeNnY]

Are vreo importantza de ce? Asha am avut eu chef!

Eu de-asta n-am intrebat de ce Stiam ce-o sa raspunzi...

...amatorii astia